Grandma please don't die..

I was at work and I got a tx from my younger brother Euscil. For some reasons he wasn't able to contact me because my phone wouldn't ring. And I'm not surprised because my phone is always like that.. All of my friends said the same thing about my phone and I know that they are already irritated about it too.. I wanted to buy a new phone but I felt like it's not wise for now since money is still very tight.. I know that the money that I could be using to buy a new phone can be used to purchase the other necessities. Euscil txted me that I  have to be in our Grandma's house immediately because Grandma getting weaker and weaker and couldn't move anymore.. I'm already worried about it since I know that my Grandma has had a lot of multiple high blood stroke history in the past.. and her situation is getting worst because of the place that she live in.. While working, my mind was pre-occupied about my Grandma's situation... I really love my Grandma and I want to help her and at least let her feel a little bit of a good life before she dies.. My tears wouldn't just stop falling when I knew that she is getting weaker and weaker everyday and I couldn't do anything about it because my salary isn't coming up and there is no one that they could turn into but me..

As I rushed to my Grandma's house after work and I as I arrive in the little space that they lived, I could see her lying down with out the strength to even sit down.. As I went nearer to her, she tried to reach me but she couldn't.. I slowly held her face and told her that "Lola naa naku" (Grandma I am here).. My tears just fell as I went close to her.. I couldn't help but cry because of the situation that she is in and how much I wished for something at that moment to be changed.. She tried to open her mouth and utter words but she has no strength to do so.. By looking at her, I could tell that she is very happy that I have arrive.. I took her by my arms and held her like a baby.. I gave her a kissed on the cheek and as I looked at her, I look at the woman who had gone through a lot, a woman who had no education, and had nothing but mostly the pains and bitterness that poverty has offered yet the woman who chooses to survive.. I knew that with out her, I could also not be where I am right now.. I remembered that It was her who taught me the value of hard work, persistence and talking to strangers even from the very young age of  five. She would take me to the airport and we would sell sweepstakes to these foreigner that would arrive and sell them anything that we could get our hand off..

My aunt Tessie told me that she needed to be sent to the Hospital as soon as possible but Grandma wouldn't budge because she knew that I had no money hence I just started from a new job and she wouldn't want me to have a hard time looking for money to pay for her medical bills.. I cried more when I've heared that.. I was then reminded that this is one of the reason why I wanted to be rich.. so that at least we have the check to go to the Hospital and pay the medical bills with out worrying about it.. and that I could do more than just praying to God to let her live.. and I hope you know what I mean.. Honestly, I really think that there is nothing wrong about wanting to have a good life for the very purpose and reason to help other peoples lives become better because of the little money that you could have helped..

As I bid good bye to my Grandma to go back to work, (I had to go back to work overtime for some reason to study) she was able to utter these words that made me cry even more.. "I am so proud of you my darling grandchild Divyne Lee Paduga.. You are the most kindest, the most deligent, and the one who would always look back and take care.. Thank you for loving me.. Thank you for loving your brothers and your mother.. Take care of them.. I love you my dearest grandchild, my darling beautiful girl".. And I'm like.. Lola.. Grandma.. Please don't say that.. she said no.. you have to follow what the Lord's will.. As she was saying that, I could tell that she is already saying good bye and that hurts even more.. I could do nothing but hold her and pray.. While holding her I said and prayed "Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us grandma.. thank you for her love.. thank you for the privilidge that you have given us to be her family.. we love her dear dear father and may you keep us strong and accepting come what may.. Thy will be done.. in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.." Grandma whispered amen and kissed me good bye..


Please not now.. not yet..